Eurovision 2015: Rating The Already Qualified Songs

1. Austria: The Makemakes – “I Am Yours”

Rating: 6/10

This song is pretty good for Austria. I know, they just won with an iconic bop, but that was seriously a fluke. Usually they send trash. This song is pretty decent though. It’s nothing special, and will probably tank in the final, but it’s cute.

2. Australia: Guy Sebastian – “Tonight Again”

Rating: 10/10

Guy wrote, produced, mastered, and shot a video for this song in only 3 days. THREE DAYS. The song is seriously amazing and he deserves a Grammy and 1000 virgins in heaven for pulling this off so flawlessly. My only critique would be that the song sounds more like an American radio hit than a Eurovision song. But whatever, it slays. Sydney can host Eurovision 2016 on Bondi beach.

3. France: Lisa Angell – “N’oubliez Pas”
Rating: 2/10

France is sort of a stinker when it comes to Eurovision. I feel like they try, but they just don’t get it anymore. I’m sure this song is super pretty if you happen to be French, but it makes almost no impact and it’s a total snoozefest. Time for a break France?

4. Germany: Ann Sophie – “Black Smoke”

Rating: 4/10

Why do countries with relatively large music industries produce the shittiest Eurovision songs? Okay, I know this wasn’t really supposed to go to Vienna, but whatever, it’s crap anyway. Not into this one.

5. Italy: Il Volo – “Grande Amore”

Rating: 2/10

I know this is super popular with everyone because the twinks in the group are okay looking and they’re the One Direction of Pop/Opera – am I the only one sad that this is a thing? – but I just don’t get it. This song is so incredibly generic. I sort of dig popera but this is even too processed for me.

6. Spain: Edurne – “Amanecer”

Rating: 5/10

So many Eurovision fans are going ape shit over this song, as if it’s the “My Heart Will Go On” of 2015. I don’t get it. The song is basically a copy+paste of last years “Dancing In The Rain.” Way too generic and safe for me. A few tribal drums don’t cover up the lazy production and melodies-for-dummies chapter one hook of the song.

7. United Kingdom: Electro Velvet – “Still In Love With You”

Rating: 1/10

This 2 cent song is a huge mess. I literally hate it. I can’t believe there are people out there who thinks this is anything other than trash. I seriously can’t. Infusing swing with dollar store electro beats from a kit does not make a hit Eurovision song. UK, it’s time you take a few years off. Come back in 2020 after you’ve had a while to think about what a huge flop you are.


About FlopstarReviews

I love flop music and I am here to share that with you. My twitter is @ShayneOfficial
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