Melodifestivalen 2014: Heat 3 Scores!

Semi-final 4: Örnsköldsvik
1. Alcazar – “Blame It On The Disco” (Place: 1st/2nd, Flopstar Score: 100000/10)
The recipe for this instantly iconic art: Take 2 parts wind machine + 5 parts sparkles + an extremely large flying disco ball that opens up like a flower + a post-modern disco anthem with a killer hook + amazing dance moves + countless hairflips and sassy head swipes. Blend them together until it has a nice frothy consistency, (you want it to be as fluffy as the artistic half of Katy Perry’s cerebrum). Pour into a nice jewel encrusted glass and garnish with countless Swedish Grammis awards. The search is over: Flopstar Blog has found it’s anthem of 2014!
2. I.D.A. – “Fight Me If You Dare” (Place: 6th Flopstar Score: 3/10)
This out-of-date wreck ended up being a waste of space among this heat. Basically, a Swedish Avril knock-off sang a musical number from the film Rock Of Ages. That’s all you need to know about this mess.
3. Janet Leon – “Hallow” (Place: 8th, Flopstar Score: 5/10)
Last years “Heartstrings” was robbed of winning the contest. Janet is back with a different direction though, and it’s a little more miss than hit. The ballad doesn’t flow the way I hoped it would. Did it deserve last place? Maybe not, but it wasn’t particularly good either. Peter Joback’s iconic 2010 entry of the same name is still the definitive “Hollow.”
4. Ammotrack – “Raise Your Hands” (Place: 3rd/4th, Flopstar Score: 5/10)
I hate rock music. I hate heavy metal. I hate this by default. That said, it was probably my favorite rock song of this entire years Melfest, (not that that is saying anything), so I am not as upset as I could be.
5. Josef Johansson – “Hela natten” (Place: 7th, Flopstar Score: 7/10)
I really thought this was going to go directly to the final. The song wasn’t a total masterpiece, but it was my 3rd favorite of the night. Perhaps his awful style killed his chances. He dressed like he was on the set of a hipster remake of Dances With Wolves.
6. Linda Bengtzing – “Ta Mig” (Place: 5th, Flopstar Score: 4/10)
Linda needs to just give it up. This song was rubbish on every level. Time to throw in the towel, hunty!
7. Ellinore Holmer – “En himmelsk sång” (Place: 3rd/4th, Flopstar Score: 5/10)
So this was the surprise of the night as I expected this unknown singer to get last place, but it did well most likely due to the fact that it was the only song of it’s kind in tonight’s heat. I don’t remember much of this tune, and it wasn’t my style, but there were worse songs.
8. Anton Ewald – “Natural” (Place: 1st/2nd, Flopstar Score: 8/10)
Anton’s offering last year, the Kempe penned song “Begging,” was a big smash hit but seemed a little average to me. He apparently got heavily critiqued for his thin vocal skill, so he promised to comeback with a “stripped down and organic” track. I about jumped off a cliff after hearing that. But the song is actually not stripped down at all. It’s “Begging” part 2, except a little better. Vocally he was one of the worst I had ever heard in my entire life. It was a train wreck. If notes were cars, this wasn’t even a car wreck, it was full on bumper cars. He hit one sour note after the next, crashing through the notes like he has no intention of hitting them. His panting so heavily I thought I would need to call in a CPR specialist. Once you auto-tune all the hyperventilating and straining out of the song though, its very good. Stick with the studio version!
Heat grade: 8/10
The years best song + a couple new tracks I will enjoying blasting made this heat pretty awesome. The results were good, as my two favorites went directly to the final, so I am pleased there as well.

About FlopstarReviews

I love flop music and I am here to share that with you. My twitter is @ShayneOfficial
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