Melodifestivalen 2014: Heat 3 Scores!

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Semi-final 3: Göteborg
 
1. Outtrigger – “Echo” (Place: 3rd/4th, Flopstar Score: 1/10)
The fact that this was the front runner in this heat, yet it ended up flopping makes me so happy. What a horrible song! I wanted to keep them locked away behind those bars they sang inside of.
 
2. EKO – “Red” (Place: 8th, Flopstar Score: 3/10)
This was a total elevator-music quality song. It got last place mostly because nobody could remember it existed.
 
3. Oscar Zia – “Yes We Can” (Place: 1st/2nd, Flopstar Score: 6/10)
I really expected to LOVE this, but I just can’t. It has it all: a teeny bopper boy, some late 90’s boyband throwback elements, Kempe, a dance routine, gimmicks, but the melody is so weak that it’s kind of impossible for me to be pleased with this. This ended up sounding like a dusty b-side even Lance Bass and Joey Fatone agreed to pass on during NSYNC’s “No Strings Attached” era, (even the staging was stolen). He should have saved his iconic “Without U” for Melfest instead.
 
4. Shirley Clamp – “Burning Alive” (Place: 6th, Flopstar Score: 3/10)
So I hate to be ~that bitch~, mainly because I know she is such a Melfest legend, but I don’t even remember this generic ballad. I only remember she wore a really unflattering gown and blew via wind machine at the end. It was so by-the-numbers that I ended up glazing over for 3 full minutes.
 
5. State of Drama – “All We Are” (Place: 3rd/4th, Flopstar Score: 4/10)
Flops! After going to the final last year, justice has been served! This song was a little better than their song last year, but it was still marginal as hell. Hope they don’t quit their day jobs at Hot Topic!
 
6. CajsaStina Åkerström – “En enkel sång” (Place: 7th, Flopstar Score: ??/10)
I took a bathroom break during this number because it was that boring. Sorry y’all! I only wish I had needed to pee so badly during Outtrigger!
 
7. Ace Wilder – “Busy Doin’ Nothin'” (Place: 1st/2nd, Flopstar Score: 9/10)
The ONLY saving grace of this heat, new Queen of Pop Ace Wilder – aka the David Lindgren of 2014 because she just came out of nowhere and slayed y’all fav’s cheap ass wigs – went straight to the final because beauty and talent ect always win ect and ect. In all seriousness though, this song would be something completely original for Sweden at Eurovision. Yes, it’s kind of a mess and her singing is kind of off, but somehow it ends up working.
 
8. Dr Alban & Jessica Folcker – “Around The World” (Place: 5th, Flopstar Score: 6/10)
I really wanted to love this song. Why? I dunno. Perhaps it was because everything else was so bad that I really wanted this to come in at the last moment and slay. The song is sort of like if you mashed up Ace Of Bass with Bob Marley. It was a kind of a wreck, and massively out-of-date. This may have slayed a decade ago.
 
Heat Grade: 5/10
What a horrible heat. I was going to give it a much lower score as overall it is one of the worst heats off all time song quality-wise, but the final results added a good point or two to the score. I mean the 2 best songs here won, (even if Oscar Zia’s song was simply the best of the bad), and the front runner rockers all flopped. Next week is the week to take notice though. There are no less than 3 ICONS in one Semi-Final!
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About FlopstarReviews

I love flop music and I am here to share that with you. My twitter is @ShayneOfficial
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One Response to Melodifestivalen 2014: Heat 3 Scores!

  1. Oh my gosh I’m so glad to read this! I just finished writing a review of it too and you basically said everything that I did (but better and with more humor). And I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thought the final song sounded like Ace of Base! I thought so too. It was terrible. You rock!

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