Melodifestivalen 2014: Heat 1 Scores!

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Semi-Final 1: Malmö

 

1. Yohio – “To The End” (Place: 1st/2nd, Flopstar score: 4/10)

Last year I sort of liked Yohio’s song if only for the reason that it sounded like a cheap Bon Jovi reject. Yohio’s album on the other hand was full of junk. He of course breezed through to the final, but this song is trash. There is no power to it, and it plays out like an 80’s teen movie soundtrack song.

 

2. Mahan Moins – “Aleo” (Place: 7th, Flopstar score: 6/10)

This was a total hot mess. The singing was off-key, the beat was cheap and generic, the dancing was rhythm-less, and the lyrical content was like she looked at a list of English words and put them into random order. In all, it’s iconic. I knew this would go nowhere, but I enjoyed watching it.

 

3. Linus Svenning – “Bröder” (Place: 3rd/4th, Flopstar score: 4/10)

I know I know…. this is a track about his dead brother. So before I start getting random hate mail, I would like to say that’s very sad. Anyhow, the song blows. He was a real front runner here, but only managed Andra Chasen – obviously due to the song being garbage.

 

4. Elisa Lindström – “Casanova” (Place: 5th, Flopstar score: 6/10)

This generic schlager. I will say, compared to most of the other stuff in this heat, this is pretty decent stuff. I’m not going to stan over this or anything, but I can dig it.

 

5. Alvaro Estrella – “Bedroom” (Place: 6th, Flopstar score 9/10)

What kind of poetry is this!? With iconic and quotable lyrics like “Is it your turn, or my turn to be on top” this song is practically a Grindr profile put into song. Truly of ~art~ of heat 1.

 

6. Ellen Benediktson – “Songbird” (Place: 1st/2nd, Flopstar score 2/10)

What is this trash! I about screamed my head off when this went straight to final. My God, Swedish people need to wake up!

 

7. Sylvester Schlegel – “Bygdens son” (Place: 8th, Flopstar score: 2/10)

…But then again, this got last place, so Swedish do sometimes make the right choice. This was painful to watch on both visual and sonic levels.

 

8. Helena Paparizou – “Survivor” (Place: 3rd/4th, Flopstar score: 7/10)

The queen of Eurovision herself has returned to make a career for herself in Sweden. This ballad is decent, but suffers from being very standard. Been-there, heard-that-before; but alas compared to everything else in this heat it seems pretty good.

 

Heat grade: 4/10

This was one of the weakest Melodifestivalen heats I have personally ever witnessed. Only one real song worth listening to. Alcazar week cannot come soon enough!

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About FlopstarReviews

I love flop music and I am here to share that with you. My twitter is @ShayneOfficial
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