Amuro Namie Becomes the New OJ Simpson; Murders Ayu & Koda Without Facing Jail Time

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QUEEN OF J-POP Amuro Namie’s newest album Feel has sold 111,458 copies in its first day of release. That is an improvement from last years first day 104,562 copies sold for Uncontrolled.

Why is this important to discuss? Well for one thing, Namsus Christ only released one single for the album, AND IT FLOPPED. Big Boys Cly is the lowest selling single of Namie’s ENTIRE CAREER. She released a couple fantastic digital singles to promote the album, but besides that all she basically did to promote the album was sit in the office of her new record label eating bon bons (wait shes too skinny for that), drinking calorie-free water and reading tabloids of Ayu’s failing relationships and flop anniversary album while LOL-ing her ass off as her main source of ab exercise.

This album will surely be Namie’s 7th double platinum selling album in a row. The first week sales have already pushed past 200k and it’s only half way through it’s first week. I mean, c’mon this is getting boring Namie. You do zero promotional activities yet still manage to destroy everyone on the charts. What is your secret? You know, besides being flawless in every way.

When Koda Kumi and Ayumi decide to make a comeback, (Koda has a 15 track a-side single in the works full of bullshit, Ayumi is pleasantly absent from the releasing schedule at the moment), they had better hope for 1/20th of the success overall that Namie has had in her opening week. And you can bet those bitches will promote the shit out of their new stuff. And now that Namie is doing EDM, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu had better watch her creepy anime looking back. This bitch is coming for every wig in Japan.

One would think this lazy murderess would face jail time for slaying bitches left and right all over Japan. But au contraire, she is now the new OJ Simpson. This bitch has created a blood bath in slayage but will get off scott free. Only a true queen could relate.

Now let us watch the video for the best song of 2013, Hands On Me, to celebrate this memorable day for our queen:

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/68267998″>AN – HOM</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/user4457818″>Angelo Kovacevic</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

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About FlopstarReviews

I love flop music and I am here to share that with you. My twitter is @ShayneOfficial
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